The truth is that I have some difficulties to today's topic, I tell you honestly. But I think it's important to understand when we are experiencing a situation, and also to protect ourselves and cope the best way.
When people speak of "difficult" I mean people who have a negative influence on our lives.
One of the reasons why it took me to this episode is that I do not feel 100% comfortable giving it to another difficulty, and know that we are here on Route rather the idea of \u200b\u200btaking responsibility the situation in which we ask and never as victims.
And therefore it is important to recognize when we have around us people who do not have a positive influence on our lives. What I'm trying to say is that it may be that these people are not difficult in themselves, but in our relationship with them feel that we do not bring anything positive and is often quite the opposite even.
can be anyone, boss, friend, relative, brother, mom, dad, coworker, etc. But how do we recognize them? The important thing is to recognize, do not look at them, but we look at ourselves.
you happen to be after being with someone you feel exhausted? Without energy, tired? Or perhaps, having had a perfectly normal state of mind for you, positive, optimistic, as always, you meet someone and then talk a while, you feel pessimistic, sad, depressed? Or you're super excited about a new project, and then tell someone, you feel discouraged, insecure, doubtful?
As we said, people "difficult" is that which has negative influence on us. And I want to emphasize that this is not to blame, or tomarnoslo personally, or doubt his love for us, or think they have bad intentions. Can often be the opposite. For example, a mom or a dad apprehensive, may have a negative influence on a child, leaving no explore their desires, their dreams, their projects, by a desire to protect, to avoid suffering, which is born of deep affection you have for your child.
The first step is to identify them. Who are these people that instead of soar, you down? That leave you exhausted, exhausted, sad, insecure, depressed? I insist that to recognize them, do not notice what they say or do. There may be people you will realize that generally speaking many negative things, but have no influence on you. You have given them no power to influence you, and when much you feel sorry for them, in those people we will not focus. To identify observe yourself Over the next few days when you interact with others.
Once logged in, what to do? This will sound harsh, but my suggestion is that in all cases possible stay away from them. If you are a co-worker during lunch time does nothing but complain about his life, his work, his family, neighbors, etc. .. That leaves you with the feeling that you had passed over a roller, avoid lunch with him. If a friend or a friend who wants you only when you need to vent and take out all their problems, but there is a mutual situation starts to get away, get your limits, take care of yourself! If is someone that every time you're happy or excited about something, he manages to get off, to show you can not or does not serve to make you feel insecure, or even to ridicule ... stay away from him! Whenever you can, stay away! No need to expose yourself to such influences if it is not necessary or totally inevitable.
course there are times when you can not get away. If this person has a negative influence in your life is someone close, a family member, parent, child, spouse, a close friend, someone who is very attached to you, or anyone you feel that you can not out, like a boss, a comprehensive different.
The focus here is not trying to change the other person, that we must never attempt to, or expected, and I personally do not think it possible or desirable, or fair. What we seek is to change the dynamics of the relationship and how it affects us.
The first thing we do is talk to the other person, on the basis of affection that unites them and ask what we need. For example, I will share some personal super here. I went with my dad he used to tell me much about their problems, working with my mom, my brothers, of all kinds. For some reason, I felt partly responsible for their happiness and suffering a lot because I could not solve their problems. He clearly did not do it to hurt me, but the dynamic had a negative influence on me, left me anxious and depressed. So while I started working this belief that their happiness was my responsibility, which clearly was wrong, I asked him not to tell me that both their problems and tell me more of their joys.
can ask someone when I told them about our dreams and our projects, not just tell us what you think you can go wrong, but also tell us what they think they can okay, and what they think are our strengths to achieve our objectives. The important thing is to have these discussions in a context of love and affection, not in a tone of accusation, resentment or complaint. At this stage we are dealing with people really close and so are people who love us and he really wants the best for us. Sometimes think that their fears of speaking, fear of losing, fear or insecurity of not being able or not they themselves have the power to carry out their dreams, and this should inspire us is compassion.
On the other hand, and finally, we must work on ourselves, especially if this conversation is not possible or not giving the results we expect, we must work to put limits on the influence that these relationships have over us.
we ourselves have finally let others influence us, whether good or bad. The answer est to us, not the other. This is the hardest part, but what really sets us free, we are healthy. Nobody can harm us, no one can have negative influence on us without our consent, in the same way that nobody can make us happy if we leave.
The next time you feel that someone has a negative influence on you, your mood, your well-being, ask yourself if you can get away from that person. If you can not or will not, try talking to her, tell what you get when you consider only misfortune, or when you criticized and discouraged by a project. Finally, and most importantly, learn to set limits to the influence of others on you, understand where it comes from what you say, which may be the love that they or their own fears, and do not take it personal. Remember that no matter what others tell you, you who can that will influence the way they do.
is also important to be alert because we may be us who have negative influence on others. See yourself in your relationship with others, tell them who will discuss their dreams and projects? You have the habit of downloading all your frustrations, your problems, your discouragement in others without asking what effect that may be having on them? 11:08 If so, beware, Fret to care for another, think that you have no idea how it can be touching the lives of others, without realizing it, and ensures that if you influence, this is positive!
Before leaving, I appreciate all the feedback have sent me recently. Had not had time to catch up with this, so I want to thank greetings Aguirre, of Valparaiso; of Israel Luna, Mexico City, Gladys Pinacca of Argentina Marcelo Carmona, Chile, Oscar Lucas, Barcelona, \u200b\u200bDaniel Urdaneta de Maracaibo Venezuela, Kristina Holguin , Ecuador who lives in Tampa, FL, Paul Sandoval of Mexico ; Diana Hair Mexico , Jean Ruiz of Mexico , Luis Tapia, Rafael Grimaldo , Ninoska , Javi, my friend Caro Rigol, Les Valdebenito, tambienTeddy Ramirez of Mexico ; Jesus Market Mapi Martin and Leo Contla routers that are already old and contributors Route, and many others who have sent me their feedback and greetings to either the mail, via twitter or through comments here on the blog, there are many anonymous comments, so I can not name ... There are so many I'm sure many names escape me at the time. Thanks also to those who have linkage I the blog of the Route from their own blogs. Can not imagine how important it is for me to receive your message, is what encourages me to continue with this project. I ask for patience because I have not had the opportunity to answer all your mails, but I will do, just have me a little patience. Maybe later I'll do an episode only feedback from you, could be for episode 100, are saying? Or if you prefer that in every episode, or maybe once a month, we have a section to read all the greetings, recommendations and comments you sent? Tell me saying, I think it would be a good idea since I have sent very good issues and questions! It makes me very happy to think that together we build this route, and help each other, sharing experiences and suggestions.
Well now you and I go, tell me what you think.
The music on this podcast called sunshine and is kevin mcleod.
I say goodbye, cuidense much a hug and a nice trip! 
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